Bewildered

People bewilder me sometimes...

I mentioned a bit ago that I have been seeing a headologist.  She's made me think about all sorts of things, and I have been looking at life, the universe and everything with a new intensity.  Given the recent demonstration of the fragility of life, I have been trying very hard to see the joy in things.  That can be challenging at this time of year, but actually I have always loved the winter - everything has drawn itself in, to rest and recover in readiness for the spring that will always come along.  In some ways that can be depressing, because it's clear to all of us that things go on whether we're there or not - I thought the world would stop turning when I lost my Mum, but it didn't, and one day I will go and the world will just keep on going, spring will arrive even if I am not around to appreciate the bluebells!

Anyhow, I seem to have been looking at things with a bit of a jaundiced eye of late.  The "oh for heaven's sake" bell has been ringing quite a lot... perhaps my determination to see the best in the world is actually making me focus on other people's inability to do the same.  When there's been a genuine mistake, why do people have to find a malicious motive for it?  Or assume that everyone else will?  I'm in the process of changing broadband suppliers, so I asked the old supplier (who has been pretty hopeless at customer service!) for the MAC code that the new supplier needs.  It didn't arrive - after a week I called again to ask where it was, and found that the person I spoke to first had done everything except the last step - hadn't clicked the button that said "generate code".  So it was clicked and the code would be generated overnight.  It was, I called the next day, got the code, job done.  But what bewildered me was the assumption that I was going to get angry about what was just a simple mistake that anyone could have made.  Yep, it was another brick in a wall of poor service that's resulted in me leaving - but I was treated to a really wierd stream of excuses, which seemed to encompass everything from "it was a mistake" to " he's completely useless and I know you want to scream at me and you probably should and then you'll sue us and IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!".. I know, love, it's ok, take a deep breath.  Relax.

I went out to an event some time ago where a bunch of people I know were gathered, some I like and some I can take or leave. People came and went from this event, and then one particular person left, accompanied by many hugs and air kisses - and the moment the door closed, the "schinnng" noise of knives being unsheathed echoed around the building!  The next half hour was devoted to a discussion of the recent departee - their behaviour both that day and for months before was examined, discussed and found wanting by the group, and the unhappy individual was roundly condemned on every single point.  I was a bit stunned by this, and didn't quite know what to do.  Apart from anything else, I wasn't sure whether I was going to come in for the same treatment when I left!
For heaven's sake, boys and girls - it's fine that you don't like someone, but why is it necessary to expend quite so much energy on the subject?  Can't you find someone you like and talk about them with quite so much passion? 

And that's what bewilders me.  Why is it that we all spend so much time, so much energy, on the bad stuff - not the big bad stuff but the really little tiny pathetic stuff?  There is some really bad stuff going on in the world to get cranked up about... why waste time stressing about the really tiny things?