Yuletide joy

It's been a day of peaks and troughs.

My poorly friend made it through the night... this wasn't a foregone conclusion, his kidneys had failed catastrophically and his family were told to prepare for the worst. It seems unfair, he's 48, has never smoked and has had a drink about twice a year in the thirty years I have known him. He's spent all his life doing "good works" - youth work, scouts, special constabulary - a really nice bloke. And it's all gone horribly wrong. I've learnt, though, in the last couple of years, that the world isn't fair, and shit things happen to nice people.
As the day has gone on, the updates have been getting slightly more positive. When they took the DNR notice from his bed, that was a pretty big milestone - a few hours more and they reduced the drugs they've given him to keep him from moving - now they are talking about letting him wake up. It's been a long slog so far, and there is a long way to go, but now they are saying that he's stable, rather than critical.  If he can get through another night, and breathe for himself, then there will be cause for real celebration upon the morrow.
He does seem to have had his usual effect on technology though - so far he's broken three dialysis machines...

On a less positive note, I saw my next-door-but-a-couple neighbour today - she was diagnosed with a cancer in her jaw a couple of months ago, which was discovered at a dental check up. She has had some chemo, but I hadn't seen her for a few weeks, and another neighbour had mentioned that things weren't going too well... It seems that the cancer is pretty advanced, and they've told her that they can't do anything more.  The surgery they would have had to do would have left her unable to speak or eat, the radiotherapy would have burnt her face painfully and it would all have only given her a few more weeks. So she's decided that she's had enough, and she's withdrawn from the active treatment now. She's very frail, and talking to me for half an hour wore her out so much she had to lay down...

So, a day of contrasts. Fear, joy, sadness... It's the longest night, as I type it's about half past midnight, and so we're about half way through the longest night.  The Solstice is at just after 5am here - when we are as far from the Sun as we will be this year - from then on, we start the slow but steady climb back to spring, when there will be new life and growth all around us.  Before that spring, we have to get through the rest of the winter... but knowing that spring is coming is what will get us through.

Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, I hope that you have a merry and peaceful one.  Sending Yuletide blessings to you all...
FFFF

New adventures

Time to start the new pills today - the lovely oncologist decided I should try something else to see if the joint pain would be better since stopping the last drug (Anastrazole) for a month eased things decidedly.  Now I will be trying Exemestane to see if that causes me less grief.  The pills have been sitting on the shelf for a week as I thought it was probably a bad move to take a brand new drug just before getting on an aircraft for a very long two day trip away...

The trip was exciting enough without adding new drugs to the equation.  The choice was to fly from Gatwick at 06.50 or Southampton at 06:45... Gatwick won as the flights were cheaper and everything else was the same.  The two airports are both about an hour's drive away... So, working back, to fly at 06:50 meant checking in around 05:00, so leaving home around 04:00, so the alarm was set for 3am...  Up, shower, loaded the car, no problem, still running a few minutes late, still there's a good two hours for getting through security... Last time I flew to Dublin (first day in the new job) I cut it a little fine, left an hour to get through the airport thinking that would be plenty as I had no bag to check - got to security to find about 2000 people queueing and ended up running to the gate.  Never come so close to missing a flight... so taking no chances this time.
However, much surprise, Gatwick has been totally reorganised, and fifteen minutes after getting off the bus from the car park I had dropped my bag, gone through security and was stood in the departure area wondering what I was going to do for the next two hours!

The day was filled with work... but there was the promise of a sociable evening at the end, as the whole team went out for dinner.  Much fun was had by all, but by the end of the meal (about 10pm) I was fading, while the rest of the crew were gearing up to enjoy the best entertainment that Dublin could offer on a Tuesday evening.  I wimped out and headed for my bed at this point.  I was quite embarrassed at this - feeling most glum, thinking that I used to be able to get up early and still party the night away...  Having said that, they partied until 3am and spent a fortune, as I looked at the frail collection of colleagues in the hotel at breakfast I was quite glad I had retired early - and the sight that greeted us when we got to the office confirmed this.  The UK contingent had partied hard, but the local team had clearly been equally excited about getting a night on the tiles, and a few broken figures were slumped around the table...  Funny how business transformation didn't seem to hold their attention quite as it had the day before!
I got myself home around midnight on Wednesday, after chaos at the car park - I had contrived to lose the parking ticket, and then discovered that when I booked in I got my own registration number wrong, which added a whole level of confusion! Add to this the torrential rain, and I was very glad to see my bed that night.

I did spend a lot of time worrying that I was so tired, and that I should have coped better - blaming the after-effects of being a bit poorly last year - but on the whole I think any normal human would have been a bit whacked out after that little lot.  Once again, another exercise in realising that there is a level of normality to be had in life after cancer... and that sometimes being tired is normal!